Terkena Batang Hidung

Pic & article taken from here (The Art of Mothering Forum)

9 Ways to Take Pressure Off Yourself As a Mother:

1. Recognize the difference between the things you can change and those you can’t change. Don't waste time and energy worrying about things you can't change and concentrate on what you have some control over.

2. Look at concerns or problems or issues objectively. What is the worst that could happen if you allow it or overlook it? In the “big picture” is it worth all the stress it is creating? Maybe it’s not a problem at all.

3. Remember that children are not “bad” – it’s just that sometimes their behavior is not what you would like. Congratulate yourself and your child at times when their behavior is what you like.

4. All behavior has meaning. Don't just look at what the child is doing/not doing now that you're not happy with. Think about what has led up to this situation, consider your own actions and ask the child some questions. How is the child feeling

5. Before you react to a situation, take a few seconds to calm yourself and think about the words you will use or the actions you will take. Consider the effect.

6. Simplify your daily activities. Priorities tasks, keeping the children’s needs and your needs in mind. What is the most important thing for you to get done today?

7. If there is a particular type of behavior you would like to see in your children, for example, “good manners”, then instead of continually reminding them about saying “Please” and “Thank-you”, simply be their role-model and say it yourself every time. Children copy what they hear and what they see.

8. Make family social activities less stressful by keeping them child-friendly and appropriate to the children’s ages. A three-year-old is unlikely to be able to sit still in a café, theatre or restaurant for two hours. A trip to the park or children’s library might be easier to manage.

9. Children are not “mini-adults”. They don't have the same material expectations and needs as adults, and they are not capable of making decisions about everything. So remember to treat your children as children and keep it simple. They do want and need your love and guidance above all else.